Together = Good, Shut Down = Not so Good

by Sara Marchessault

True confession: I don’t like every single thing that my husband does.

He is an organizer of things. The cupboard with the plastic storage containers for leftovers and lunches is almost perfectly organized. The garage has a hand-constructed storage for tote bins. He insists there is a right way and a wrong way to load a dishwasher.

I don’t mind if he does these things. Dare I confess that it’s actually really nice to open the cupboard for a container for leftover salad and always find one, with a matching lid, exactly where it’s supposed to be? (Please, don’t tell him I said that J )

Sure, I pick on him about this. I complain a little bit when I feel like he’s being a little too preachy about doing things this way or that.

But in the end, I meet him halfway. I put the salad dressing containers back in the “right place.” I do it because it keeps our home running smoothly and even though it might irritate me a little, I see that it’s for the good of all.

And when something is good for everyone, doesn’t that uplift the entire unit?

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I do these things too so that when I ask him to do something that might be a little out of his comfort zone, he is willing to meet me halfway. We compromise. We both give a little, and in the end, we both win.

We are stronger together than we are divided.Shut down, shut door, what's the difference?

Watching the news this week has made me grateful that I have my shit together enough to be able to talk through important things. I’m willing to wade through quirks and opinions to come to a happy agreement with people I love, especially regarding issues I care about.

The thing is, I really love my husband. Seriously, oodles and oodles of love for that guy. So, I don’t shut down when he does something I don’t like.

And yes, I am going right where you think I’m going. On a larger scale, did 9/11 teach us nothing? Political agendas aside, we’re in this together. Shutting the door to working out differences leads us nowhere, fast.

Here’s my plea. We need to get it together…together. We need to get it together so our kids know how cool it is to be an American. We need to get it together because we are here to take care of one another.

So, the question is, what can one individual do, what can you and I do, to get it together?



  1. Taylor | 9th Oct 13

    Love this! I’m sending it to my roommate, because I know she feels you- I am totally the “Brian” in our house. She’s pretty much backed off of the dishwasher altogether since she knows I’ll just rearrange it whenever she loads it and I have to do a weekly sweep of the fridge and cabinets to make sure they’re orderly. I wonder what this says about me- I like those kinds of things to be orderly, but when it comes to my room and work spaces I tend to let clutter accumulate until I get so bothered that I have to go on an excessive cleaning spree. Perhaps this is something I need to address with myself… I need to find some sort of balance. Maybe I’ll find that spending less time on my dishwasher will leave me more time for my desk. And being less picky about how I keep my kitchen will let my roomie do her “own thing”.

    It seems like if more people would make an individual effort to be open to the ideas of others, we would avoid such *ahem* shutdowns.

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