Are you on your own A-list?

by Sara Marchessault

The date: Friday April 4, 2014. The time: 7:53am The place: Target

There I am, taking a selfie in front of Target a few minutes before 8am on Friday morning.Me at Target

A mere 44-minutes prior to taking this picture of myself, my husband was perched on the edge of my bed saying, “Soooo, do we have a secret stash of diapers hidden somewhere?”

Why yes, we do. The diaper bag is super-secret hidden stash number one, and the hidden compartment in the back of the mama-wagon is super-secret hidden stash number two.

Nope, both do not have diapers, my husband informed me. We were officially out of diapers for the first time ever.

Side note: this is one of the many reasons I love cloth diapers. We never once ran out. For our son, we’ve been using disposables since he was about 16 months (long story) and I miss my cloth diapers every day. Or at least every time I buy those blasted diapers.

And so, there I was, in front of Target seven minutes before they opened, getting diapers for my kid.

As I was waiting I thought about how quickly I jumped out of bed, threw on some clothes, and headed to the store. (I got slowed down a little when I realized my debit card was missing, hence the 44-minute gap, but hey, found it and got back on track, all before the doors to the store were even open.)

I wasn’t showered. I barely remembered to brush my teeth and put on deodorant so that I would be socially acceptable. It’s a small scale, but I would do anything for my kid. I know you would too.

But it got me started wondering when in life I stopped being willing to “do anything” for me? I have an A-list, but am I on it? Are you on yours?

When was the last time you leapt out of bed to run out and get something that you needed?

For women and mothers it is so easy to fall into the role of taking care of others. It’s familiar. It’s safe. And it often feels good and satisfies the nurturing side of us that wants to feel needed and like we are making a difference in the life of another person.

It’s a nice feeling that they couldn’t have done it, made it, or got there, without us.

But what about you? What about me?

Could we have done it, made it, or got there without us?

Our wants/needs/desires/goals are just as valid, as relevant, as important, and as necessary as those of other people, including the people we love the most. The ones we would do anything for.

We deserve to be on our own list of people we love.

A diaper run in the morning is about making sure that basic needs are met. When we put ourselves on our list, we make sure that we get the things we need too.

We make sure we have time to workout. We prioritize the tasks that help us to reach our goals. We stop for coffee when we really want a coffee.

But what happens when we don’t meet our own basic needs?

We keep on truckin’. We work. We interact with people. We talk about “someday” and dream about the day that we have time for us. Time to put ourselves on our own A-list.

Why not now? What would happen if you woke up on a Saturday and your husband was perched on the edge of your bed and said, “I think you really could use some time for yourself. Why don’t I take the kids and give you a break?” Would you take that offer?

When you do put your needs first, when you do what you have to do for yourself, you make room for the big things to happen in your life. The life purpose work. Connecting your career with your dreams. Living a life based on what’s most important to you.

You literally open yourself up to making possibilities into reality.

But this will only happen when you put your name at the top of your own A-list. You still get up and get the diapers, but you run through the Starbucks drive-thru on the way home.

You. Are. Totally. Worth. It.

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